FLASH FICTION!

To forget; one must first remember. To remember; one must first forget.

It is her wedding day. Her wedding day. She looked at her dressing mirror, staring so hard and wondering why she couldn't see herself, all she saw was black, the black she used to see when she and Chike her little brother would stare down at the well in her father's compound. She remembered how her mother would come screaming that the well would swallow her. Swallow me, Ndidi pleaded, she wanted to not be.

Empty is a feeling and its colour is a fine mix of white and black.

She did not love him. At least not in the way she loved Obinna. Looking at herself, she tried to make a mental list of the things she liked about her groom, his perfect nails, even skin tone, cologne, culinary skills, etc. He was too much of whatever he was and it irritated her. She wanted chaos. The kind that drove her wild and ignited the fire in her veins. The love that is best described as alive. This groom offered her a love that required nurturing, Ndidi wanted a love that tore down territories. Obinna had given her that. Everything reminded her of him. The sidewalks, the beaches, the high profile restaurants, the bukas, cars, planes - she had a memory of him everywhere. How would she visit anywhere with her groom? How was she to just move on? Ndidi did not want to move on.

In her haze she heard the door open. Everyone walked on egg shells around her for six years, treated her like fragile glass, she had a few cracks but nobody wanted her shattered. It did not matter to her, she was broken beyond repair and no amount of love could piece her back. She turned to find her beloved brother Chike, he asked if she was fine and assured her that he would end this if she thought for a second that it wasn't what she wanted, she told him with a smile that almost tore her mouth that she was elated to be getting married but Chike knew her too well.

It is time. She watched her groom speak his vows whilst looking into her eyes and she thought about what he could be seeing, grief maybe. She did love him but it was not in the way that he loved her and for this she would spend her lifetime repaying him. Ndidi recited her vows with one thing on her mind, that accident should have taken her too.